After the marriage ceremony and the wedding bells have quietened, many realize that marriage is more than uniting with their spouse rather they have also gained an extended family. Before you know it, all family members are attempting to build good relationships with one another and striving toward a happy future. As the years of marriage go by, the family relationship often grows into an extension of oneself. When you decide to grow the family bonds even more by having children of your own, family becomes even more meaningful.
Marriage and extended family of in-laws can be a blessing when the relationship is nurturing. In-laws in family means having people in your life who are supportive and offer friendships along the way. This extended family can bring joy while your marriage is thriving but what happens to this extended family should divorce occur? Will the members choose sides according to their blood relative? If there are children involved, will there be loyalty conflicts which they must face and how will the family relationship continue to thrive after divorce?
In-laws can remain a vital part of any family during and even after a marriage. When children are involved, they should have the ability to love both sides of the family without having to choose. Although spouses may not choose to live together as a married couple, extended family especially when children are involved remains an extension of oneself.
Sometimes it is helpful to remain positive about the in-laws and express that your desire is for the family relationship to remain healthy. This is where you may need to become assertive and name the expectations that you have in order for this to occur. Of course, being reasonable in your expectations and allowing compromise is a must.
So often families become divided when divorce occurs and the once loved in-laws becomes the dreadful out-laws. This may occur because they have chosen sides with one of the spouses, attempted to use the children as spies to communicate what is happening in each parents home as well as many other hurtful tactics or events. Learning to establish ground rules of healthy expectations for all family members in the beginning is not only helpful but enabled members remain a family in every sense of the word.
Deciding what is needed for your ground rules should be planned and discussed with all family members. Make sure that you are also willing to act on what you have asked others to do for you and that everyone understands the importance for doing his or her part. When moving forward in any relationship after divorce, especially when children are involved, it is necessary to have open communication, trust and the desire to have a common goal of keeping the family relationship healthy with its vitality even amongst the angry nature that divorce can bring.
If you are facing divorce and especially have children, consider what your plan should consist of toward a healthy relationship with your extended family in making sure that all in-laws remain in good standing rather than become out-laws with each other. This is more easily accomplished by planning and good communication.
Divorce Tool Box understands that divorce can bring about many unwanted changes within the extended family. Learning to be proactive from the beginning is necessary to achieve the desired results. Having knowledge about divorce and planning for life after divorce is vital. Divorce Tool Box can help you become informed and plan for your future so why not visit our website today at www.divorcetoolbox.com today.