SEPARATE THE PAST FROM THE PRESENT DURING SEPARATION AND DIVORCENo matter the length of your marriage, it will always be a part of your past. It’s up to you to decide how much you will allow it to impede your present and future. If kids are involved with child custody, of course it will remain a more prominent aspect of your future than those divorcing without kids.
Take an inventory of your home contents and the memories attached to them. When you look around, what do you see - the vase by your nightstand purchased on your honeymoon or the antique picture frame that held a picture of your wedding ceremony. It isn’t necessary to get rid of your memories but you must decide if the contents will be a constant reminder of what was thus hindering progress of moving forward.
This is the time to decide what home contents should remain in view. This phase of the post-divorce will usually entail aspects of the grieving process which is normal but taking an active step toward choosing what will remain a visual part of your home contents will help as you learn to place the past behind as you begin striving toward the future.
Household keepsakes can be stored away for your children as they become older and have a home of their own, items can be given to Goodwill or maybe have a yard sale. You will always have memories and that’s okay as they make you who you are today but now is the time to separate the past as you begin building a life of your own.
CREATE YOUR SAFE HAVEN
Finances are usually tight after divorce, therefore, having money to decorate the entire house at once is usually not an option. Choosing one room where you’ll spend the most of your time may be a good place to begin personalizing your space.
You may want to begin with your bedroom, especially if you kept the marital home. Having shared this room with your ex-spouse would have many memories so you will need to focus on creating a new serene environment just for you. Utilizing decorating magazines to obtain ideas may be helpful to get your creative juices flowing. Beginning with new bedding, a new color of paint and a few new accessories can help this room seem as though you are no longer sharing it. As time progresses, keep adding personal touches to the room so it feels as though the world around you stops as you enter your safe haven.
CREATE A STRESS REDUCING ENVIRONMENT IN YOUR HOME AFTER DIVORCE
Learning to live alone can be stressful and produce feelings of loneliness, especially in the beginning. This is normal and you will adjust to your surroundings without your spouse. This is a good time to add stress reducing items in your home as you are adjusting to life as a single. Ways to lower stress can be different for everyone so examine your life to assess ways that you typically lower stress.
Music is a form a stress reduction, so having portable speakers throughout your home to connect with your favorite music is a must. Listening to music has been noted as music therapy and has many potential physical and mental benefits.
If you’re a person who enjoys spending time outside, then bring the outside in. Having easy to maintain plants can help fill empty spaces as well as create a feeling of warmth from the outdoors. Placing small water fountains around to enjoy the sound of trickling water can create serenity and feel as though you are a part of nature. There are various sizes and prices of fountains and they can add warmth in addition to adding a signature touch to your decorating style.
Placing decorative bird cages filled with birds, candles or even fresh leaves can be beautiful to admire. Colorful painted stones with uplifting quotes can allow you to enjoy the best of both worlds and benefit from the positive affirmations. Identifying and displaying stress reduction accessories may help both mentally and physically as you personalize your home after divorce.
Transitioning from the concept of what was ours to what is mine takes time. Allowing yourself permission to place your needs first as you begin to personalize your home after divorce is a must. Learning to separate the past from present, creating a safe haven and a less stressful environment can help as you transition to life as a single. The divorce process can be a long and stressful event so allow Divorce Tool Box to help during this process. Learn more about Divorce Tool Box and how it works so we can better help you.