Christmas time is usually a time of excitement, joy and thinking of others but often this is not the reflection when couples are divorcing who have children. The focus of others and the giving spirit may be replaced with anger toward the other spouse and selfishness where children are concerned, often forgetting the meaning behind the holiday season as well as the happiness of the children.
The Christmas season is often challenging for children of all ages when parents are divorced or divorcing. With the many changes in rituals/traditions, remembering the visitation schedule of “which parent will I be visiting" during Christmas morning until the custodial exchange later on Christmas day, much less the enjoyment of having time to enjoy the gifts at one home before being hurried out the door for the custodial exchange to spend “quality time” with the other parent can be taxing for the children.
This Christmas season remember that divorce brings changes and these are usually noticed especially during the holidays. For parents, even if you did not desire the divorce, replacing the time and energy required being angry at the other spouse and focus on the needs of the children is needed. Children desire to maintain the Christmas rituals/traditions that have been established when their parents were married and all lived together under one roof. The continuation of rituals/traditions is often “swept under the rug” by parents due to the memories that now create hurt for them. Having the continuity of the past in continuing rituals/traditions and remembering what family has taught the children is beneficial. This allows them to have the understanding that it is acceptable to remember the past as well as create new rituals/traditions with each parent for future holidays. This is the time that divorced or divorcing parents can contemplate past rituals/traditions and what new rituals/traditions that can be created in each home.
During this Christmas season, take time to plan for ways to incorporate past traditions as well as emotionally preparing for the continuation without the other spouse and creating new rituals/traditions that can be carried forth in years to come. Divorce creates changes but with parents assistance, it can be time spent cherishing the past and welcoming new changes for the future with each parent.
Let this Christmas season be “Tis the Season of Caring” for the needs of the children in order to live a happy and fulfilling holiday season. Divorce Tool Box understands the needs of the family as the Christmas season approaches. If you are contemplating or experiencing divorce, visit our website @ www.divorcetoolbox.com today. Allow our online program to assist you in creating a parenting plan and establishing good co-parenting habits.