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Dealing with panic after divorceThere are usually many emotions which invade our emotional well-being when facing divorce, especially panic as it usually paralyzes anyone when the first suspicion of divorce arises and often escalates when a spouse actually verbalizes the desire to divorce.  Such questions invading your mind may consist of what is the reason for divorce, what should I do, where will I live, how will we divide our marital property, how will I survive financially, and if children are involved, how will we arrange custody and visitation, as well as other questions.

Panic usually urges immediate decision making, although due to panic, your ability to rationalize your present and future circumstances may be limited when preparing for your divorce.  With this in mind, do not allow panic to invade your emotions during such a life changing event.  Carefully consider all of your present needs and how these will change in years to come after your divorce.

Panic invades personal security causing dependence on others for advice which may or may not be in your best interest.  Nearly everyone knows someone who has experienced divorce and is willing to give free advice whether or not you ask for it.  Listening to the advice of others may be helpful, but remember your divorce is personal and ultimately decisions should be your own since you will be required to live by them. 

Since decisions made concerning divorce issues affect every aspect of life, much consideration should be made as how to proceed through the divorce process in a healthy manner.  Other areas to consider is how to help the children adjust to family changes, how custody and visitation must be addressed in addition to the issues involving co-parenting, and how to create a plan that will meet all family member’s needs.  It is difficult to contemplate decisions for today, but even more difficult when contemplating what will be needed in three, six, or ten years from now as children mature when preparing for divorce.

As previously stated, if proper contemplation is not made now, often times a return to court to make adjustments to the original divorce decree may be required.  These additional returns to court may cost psychologically and financially.  The return to court to make these adjustments may be avoided if panic is replaced with personal control which allows for the ability to make rational decisions. 

Financial matters may also cause panic during the divorce process.  Some of these issues concern the lack of the marital financial information and how to keep abreast of all financial issues before and during the divorce process.  Other concerns are how to divide the current bills and what new bills will be accrued when there are two households to finance, will there be a need for daycare for either parent and who will pay for this expense, as well as other financial concerns. 

One way to emotional approach divorce is that just because your spouse desires a divorce, does not require you to make life changing decisions all at once.  Take needed time to plan every detail in each life altering matter.  When panic is removed from divorce, you allow an opportunity for it to be replaced with wisdom. Wisdom to make informed decisions, learn to adjust to the myriad of life changes as the uncoupling begins and plan for your post-divorce future.    

Allow Divorce Tool Box to assist you in taking panic out of your family circumstances by preparing for divorce in advance and/or during the process.  Knowledge of how to prepare, identifying areas where decisions will need to be made and what considerations should be given to these areas as well as step by step guidance to aid in decision making is found throughout Divorce Tool Box online sessions. Walk into the divorce arena prepared and with confidence that you took panic out of your divorce and became prepared to make informed decisions. 

You don’t plan for divorce, we do, visit our website now at www.divorcetoolbox.com.

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