COMMUNICATION IS ESSENTIAL WHEN DIVORCING WITH CHILDRENRealizing that divorce affects everyone differently, including your children is necessary. Their ability to understand what is occurring and the long term effects depend greatly upon age and comprehension. It is wise to know that many of their concerns may be unrealistic but nevertheless, their concerns need to be addressed. They too may have very realistic concerns which may be identified as being stressors. Make intentional time each day to listen and learn about their day as well as any concerns that they communicate to you concerning their other parent, the separation and divorce. When asked questions make sure to answer honestly but use your wisdom as to how in depth you must go. They need to have the opportunity to speak with both parents as well as assurance that parents offer security and understanding through effective communication.
ALLOW CHILDREN OF DIVORCE TO LOVE BOTH PARENTS
Both parents may experience many feelings concerning their separation and divorce. These may include grief, anger and even bitterness. When feelings such as these invade the family environment, they can take a toll on all family members. Parents often find that talking negatively about the other parent may be an easy outlet to deal with their disappointment, but for the children this may lead to anxiety and feeling as if they are in a loyalty conflict. Both parents need to find outlets other than their kids to discuss their divorce. Journaling may become an effective tool during this time but make sure you keep your journal in a safe location. Make it a priority to do your part to get along toward helping kids through divorce and beyond. When this becomes the focus, it’s easier to place their needs before your own.
COUNSELING CAN BE EFFECTIVE WHEN DIVORCINGNo matter how much effort both parents put forward toward their children, sometimes they may need additional assistance. Just as adults who separate and divorce need help through the process, children of divorce may need help identifying issues that are creating stress and learn how to cope during divorce. Not only is one parent absent from their daily life now that separation and divorce has occurred but now they are asked to live successfully between two homes. Having a counselor to assist during this transitional time may help children learn to identify issues as well as how to communicate more openly with their parents. Take the needed time to look and listen for clues in which your child may need help to thrive during and after divorce.
Acknowledging that divorce creates havoc in all family members is a must. Although children can be resilient, when helping kids through divorce they need parents who offer a listening ear and communicate with them, allow the gift of loving both parent and seek counseling for them if needed. The family unit has changed and parents learning how to work toward a brighter future for their children must come first.
At Divorce Tool Box we understand that divorce with children can create obstacles that may not have been anticipated. Making sure that you plan how to effectively meet their needs now and anticipate future needs is imperative. Learn how Divorce Tool Box works today!