Divorce advice when attempting to letting go after divorce is often given by friends and family whether it’s asked for or not. People who have been previously divorced seemed to always share their personal experience as they often advise what problems they faced in attempts to help others avoid the same issues. When searching for wisdom concerning life after divorce, using the services of a counselor or coach who helps people through life’s transitions may be beneficial. Identifying what works best for you while letting go after divorce will help you work successfully toward a brighter future. The question for many is how to move on after divorce when the hurt and disappointments are still fresh.
ACCEPTANCE IS IMPORTANT DURING AND AFTER DIVORCE
There must be acceptance as to what stage you are currently experiencing in the divorce process. For many people, a desire to hold on to the relationship, memories of better times and a yearning to understanding why their marriage failed seems to have a battle field within one’s mind. When finding yourself consumed with these thoughts, it is time to let go of what might have been and face reality of what actually is. Experiencing grief during the divorce process is normal and acknowledging the various stages encountered is not only healthy but wise. Accept that the grief process is not a one-time occurrence, rather it is often a series of stages that one transitions through over the course of time. Accepting the death of your marriage is necessary in order to move forward toward setting new goals for your future. Acceptance doesn’t mean that you understand or even like what has happened but you’ve realized that life does go on.
CREATING REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS IS VITAL DURING AND AFTER DIVORCE
Realizing that divorce is difficult for all family members but in order to move forward you must create goals and realistic expectations. Just as marriage required adjustment, divorce will also. Learning to live alone and even solo parent will take time for adjustment. As the saying goes, it’s best to take one day at a time and do not try to rush this process. In an attempt to establish realistic expectations, do not compare your divorce nor your adjustment with someone else. All circumstances are different and time needing to move forward in a healthy manner also differs. It may be wise to set daily goals at first and then extending them to weekly, with monthly following may help to keep them realistic as well as healthy.
LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF AFTER DIVORCE
During and after divorce, one’s self-esteem may be at rock bottom but choosing to love yourself again is so necessary. This can be more easily accomplished if you let go of what you thought life would be like and just let be what is. Choose to love your life over remaining a hostage over your past by adjusting the way you think about your circumstances. You have that ability to move forward to create a brighter future for you and your children. At this point, give yourself permission to be selfish because now, it’s all about you. Love yourself enough to be free from your past and the negative emotional baggage that it contains.
Divorce involves many stages and when in the midst of being overwhelmed, it’s easy to wonder where to start and how to move forward. When you are able to accept where you are, create realistic expectations and learn to love yourself after divorce, then you are more likely able to apply the divorce advice and let go. Divorce Tool Box can help you as you navigate the process and help you prepare for post-divorce life. Learn about our program and how it works to best help you.