Written by Divorce Tool Box Team
Divorce brings many unique challenges that require creativity especially in the area of single parenting. The marital home is usually a safe haven for all family members that establishes security. After divorce, each family member must learn to work together while building a new home life. Often times, each parent will establish new daily routines which fit into their personal schedule as well as continue what had worked when married.
Divorce requires living as a single person, thus your identity will now change from that of married to single. Changing one’s identity may be difficult immediately following divorce. When a questionnaire must be completed such as a medical form, survey, etc., the box that reflects your marital status will now be marked differently. The first few times that individuals are faced with this, it can be emotionally challenging as it reemphasizes the marital change and reinforces single identity.
Fostering creativity through acceptance of being a single parent will require making personal changes and a few tips are listed below:
- Realizing that many friends from the marriage may continue to remain friends and some will find it hard to remain friends. When this occurs, some will choose one mate over the other. Learning to make new single friends will be healthy in order to move forward. This is often accomplished by attending events where other singles may be are including support groups, and community or church single events. Finding strength to take steps for gaining new single friends with the same interest and needs should become a priority in order to reduce isolation. This will create a support system moving beyond marriage into post-divorce life.
- When making friends with other singles, learn to communicate your thoughts and concerns. Communication with those who have been divorced for a lengthy time may help with the transition of divorce. Anxieties that are usually associated with divorce changes may be reduced by others who share wisdom from their own divorce experiences.
- Concentrate only in areas that you can control. In divorce, there are many factors that are beyond control, therefore by finding areas that can be controlled is a must. In a co-parenting relationship controlling issues are often difficult as each parent will form their home and parenting styles which may reflect different parenting goals and styles than when married. Continuity between homes should be the ultimate goal for parents in order to reduce stress for children but the realization that one can only control his home is a must, moving forward.
- Make your home an inviting and safe place for yourself as well as your children. Home can become a place of acceptance and where security is found from the outside world. Take time to plan how you want your home environment to become. Foster activities that boost your child’s self-esteem and security. Plan ways to create fun memories in your new home to last a lifetime. Focusing on ways to include the children in decorating their rooms, creating an art piece for the home and working on the landscape will help children identify with their new home.
- Becoming organized now that you are a single parent is necessary now that you are managing two roles. Creating lists and using calendars will be helpful in remembering activities, appointments and responsibilities. This will assist in time management which will become very important as you transition into life as a single parent Juggling life after divorce and meeting children’s needs is an art that you must learn to balance.
- The transition from married to single is a process and when adding the responsibility of caring for children may cause neglect of personal care. Take time a few minutes a day to nurture your own needs such as reading, take a relaxing bath, yoga, prayer or even exercise. One point to remember is when you meet your personal needs, as a parent you will become refreshed and more able to meet the demands of others.
Divorce brings unique challenges as the transition from divorce to single is begun. Divorce Tool Box understand these challenges as one moves through the divorce process. Visit our website atwww.divorcetoolbox.comfor information of how we can assist you through your divorce process.